I’ve always loved that phrase. “Reckless abandon “. I can’t remember where or when I first heard it or read it, but it’s stuck with me. Words and word pictures feed my soul. They occupy the curious girl-heart within me. So when I think of this phrase I have several pictures painted in my mind’s eye.
Wild flowing hair. When I was little, my hair was a soft reddish brown and hung in tender waves down my back all the way to my waist. I was a tomboy and could usually be found down by the “crick” hunting for crawdads or carrying home a literal zoo of neighborhood strays. My hair was usually in a ponytail or braids when I went outside in the morning, but upon my return at lunchtime, it had managed to pull free from its ribbons and bands and was surrendering to the heat in little ringlets around my neck. Gone was the “pretty”. A new and wild appearance had taken over. Mother called it a mass of curls, outdoor smells, sticks, leaves, and mysteries! She said when I ran across the yard or rode my bicycle down the street, all she saw was my hair flowing behind me in the wind, a blur of joy and reckless abandon. Nothing hindering me. Nothing standing in the way of what I was about. I was always on a mission. A princess with a purpose.
I visited the “homeland of my heart” last summer. Ireland. I have always loved anything having to do with the Emerald Isle. Music, food, literature, history, you name it. I joke and say that I have an Irish temper. In the Killarney National Park, there is the most gorgeous waterfall, the Torc Waterfall. We took a horse drawn carriage ride up as close as we could and hiked the rest of the way. The moment I saw it, my breath escaped me. I couldn’t move. I was frozen in that spot. The roar of the water had called me all the way up, but its voice had failed to prepare me for its beauty and power. The water fell unhindered, unencumbered to the vast pools below creating this pure white foam that took me back to my childhood bubble baths. The purple rhododendron were in full bloom along the banks and seemed to be silent witnesses to this grand, majestic display. Such glory! My eyes were riveted to the water as it crashed over and over down below. Something about it was familiar and it took minutes for my overwhelmed brain to process. Then…yes…there it was…reckless abandon! That’s what it made me think of! That water was doing its thing! Not hindered at all. Just fulfilling its mission with such power and grace and beauty. Nothing stopping it. Nothing in its way.
This. Just this. I want to care, to love like this….with reckless abandon. I want to care for someone like they need to be cared for and not hold back one bit. I want to be totally me with them…the not perfect, I don’t have it all together me. I want to submit to them totally because I completely trust them. I want them to push my limits, test me in them. I need to learn again to trust with reckless abandon.
I want that hair flying in the wind, not a care in the world, unhindered, powerful, nothing can stop me kind of connection. To care for one another with reckless abandon…